


Moon Watching

by AlpacaSoon



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, If you decide to read then please read the beginning and end notes, Trigger Warning: Death, Trigger Warning: Grief, Trigger warning: abuse, thank you, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 04:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlpacaSoon/pseuds/AlpacaSoon
Summary: Eir and Kiran interact and cry under the moonlight.





	Moon Watching

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, DEATH, GRIEF, DESCRIPTIONS OF ABUSE
> 
> If these bother you, then please, for your safety and emotional wellbeing, DO NOT read this. However, if you are struggling with emotional problems, you may read the end notes, as I hope what I have put there will help you.

“...Kiran?”

Eir gently broke the silence between her and the summoner, her hands twisting, the warm night air gently kissing her skin. Kiran threw a cursory glance behind, then smiled at the princess. “Hello, Eir. You’re up late.”

“So… So are you.”

“Indeed I am.” Kiran turned again to continue staring at the moon, full and fat and amber in the sky. They were without their coat, and Breidablik was nowhere to be seen. Without those, and their soft hair spilling against their neck, they seemed… _Vulnerable._

“Well, don’t just stand there all night. Sit.” They patted the seat next to them on the gazebo, and Eir carefully made her way over, delicately sitting with a soft _swish_ of her skirt. “We’ve never really interacted before, have we?” Kiran mused.

Eir nodded. “Kiran…”

“Do you want to hear about the moon?” They suddenly said, pointing up at the celestial orb. “Did you see it much before?”

“N-Not really. It’s very dark… In my mother’s realm. Here, everything is so… Bright.”

“Isn’t it?” Kiran smiled again, but it seemed to be strained. “This world is bright… And beautiful…” They faltered, then took a deep breath and continued on. “I could tell you all about the phases of the moon and space exploration, but that would be boring. How about a literature lesson instead? Do you know that the moon is usually characterized as a villainess in stories? It’s usually the villainess, or a hideout for villains. People say it’s because the word ‘lunacy’ relates to the ‘luna,’ and others think there’s a sexist connotation behind it, since the moon is usually characterized as feminine while the sun is seen as masculine.”

Eir frowned. “That seems… Unfair.”

“Yep.” Kiran chuckled. “Gotta fight against the patriarchy.”

Eir nodded, but she concentrated on why she had come to seek out Kiran in the first place. “Kiran… You’re grieving.”

Kiran went still. “Oh? And what do you sense from me?”

“Not a strong sense of grief, but… Grief, nonetheless, and depression, and sadness.”

Kiran sighed, leaning against the pillar of the gazebo. “Well… You’re not wrong. You would be a great psychiatrist. Anyways, I am grieving alright… Or at least, I think I am. It’s disconcerting, to see people my own age displaying such strong signs of grief. Tell me, Eir, is it possible to grieve for someone you never knew?”

“Is this about Alfonse’s father, or…?”

Kiran shook their head, looking down and letting their hair hide their eyes. “I go home, sometimes, to check on everyone. Time passes slower there, but I still miss home sometimes, so I go back to visit. Anyways, the last time I went…” Their voice caught, but they continued on. “...I was informed that a friend of a friend took her own life.”

“...Oh.” Eir whispered helplessly.

“Yeah,” Kiran said with a cynical laugh, dashing a hand across their eyes. “I never knew her personally, but some of my friends… It’s hard, Eir, for them and me. I don’t know how to help, and the thing is… Suicide can sometimes be contagious, yeah? I’m so worried, and it’s really not helping my psych, and then there’s this war and my unknown future, and—” They suddenly sobbed, pressing their hands against their face, “—I’m just so _tired,_ Eir, _so goddamn tired.”_

Eir stayed silent, letting Kiran cry. _It’s healthy, sometimes,_ she thought, _to let people cry._ She thought about the dead that appeared in her mother’s realm, the ones who came with scarred wrists, the ones that coughed violently as if to expel water or poison from their lungs, the ones that screamed and backed away from cliff edges, terror and fear and _pain_ in their eyes. They all cried and screamed and begged, tugging at the bottom of her mother’s dress, to let them return to life, to do anything to ease the regret in them.

“Death is not contagious,” she murmured, when Kiran had quieted.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“The _thought_ of death is addictive and liberating, but death is scary and _painful_ and _horrible_ ,” Eir clutched her skirt, trying to erase the images of ~~her mother~~ Hel, HEL, holding her scythe over her weak, gasping body, throat cut so she could not scream, telling her _only a few hundred more, child, this will surely make you STRONGER,_ “and it _never stops_ and it’s _selfish_ and—”

_“Eir!”_

Eir gasped as warm arms suddenly embraced her. “K-Kiran?”

“Please… Please, don’t force yourself to remember anymore. You’re safe here… You won’t get hurt anymore, _I promise._ I won’t let anyone hurt you or others anymore.”

Trembling, Eir gently hugged them back, hiding her face in their shoulder, her own tears dripping down her face. “And here I wanted to comfort _you.”_

“It’s okay,” Kiran stroked her hair, feeling her shake and sob in their arms, “it’s okay. You already comforted me. Now I want to comfort you, too… So that no more tragedies happen.”

“Let’s cherish life together.”

**Author's Note:**

> A few days ago, a student at my school committed suicide. Although I didn’t know her personally, several of my friends were friends with her and/or personally helped mentor her, and it really broke them. It really broke me, too, seeing my friends struggling with grief and not knowing how to reach out and help them because I don’t know what they’re going through because I’m not grieving as much as them, but damn, I’m just so worried.
> 
> My philosophy is this: whomever or whatever you interact with, they give a piece of themselves to you, be it physical, like a flower blossom, or mental, like advice from a friend. Whatever happens, they give a small part of themselves to you. If you die, you take both you and that little piece of them away forever, and they’re missing a part of themselves and a friend, gone forever. The piece that’s gone will heal over, but sometimes it doesn’t heal cleanly.
> 
> So, if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please, please, PLEASE don’t take away the pieces of you friends that they gave to you. I know how it feels, because I’ve gone through depressive episodes too. I promise you that someone CARES, that it they see you on that edge, they will grab you and hold on and cry because you MEAN SOMETHING to them, and just please don’t throw your life away because it can be hard and frustrating and just so, so dark sometimes, but just keep living on, for me, for your friends, and for YOU most of all.
> 
> For those of you dealing with grief: I know I don’t have much experience in this, but hear me out. That little piece of you that’s gone, it’s going to heal. It can get painful, it can be long, but damn it all, you CAN’T go through it ALONE. Talk to someone, reach out, grief is hard and you’re not getting that piece back and you won’t ever forget, but that doesn’t mean you have to grieve forever. Grief changes people, but don’t let it control you.
> 
> Anyways, that’s all I have for now. I’m going to write a companion fic for this one that brightens up the mood because 1) suicide, death, and grief cannot be explored in just one fic and 2) it’s going to be waaay too jarring for both me and you readers to go back to my happier, humorous fics.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and cherish your pieces.


End file.
